Hopelessly Devoted to You
by mikasa-heichou
Summary: For a moment, she saw the Eren she fell in love with. The one with short, fluffy hair and a boisterous voice that could echo in the longest of hallways. She saw the Eren with bright, lively eyes that could pierce through the coldest of souls and the smile that could make the saddest person forget their troubles for a moment. And then now- he was unrecognizable. [Eremika, Eruri]


"The reason I was able to take it this far was because I believed that the day would come," Erwin looked down somberly at his hand and sat down, "That someday, I'd get those answers I've been looking for."

He sucked in a breath before continuing, "There were so many times I thought dying would be so much _easier._ But I couldn't get the thought of my father's dream out of my head."

Levi was quiet. He watched Erwin and could practically _hear_ the internal conflict within his commander. He sighed tiredly, and the raven haired man sunk to one knee, placing a comforting hand on Erwin's knee. He squeezed reassuringly.

"You've fought well, Erwin. It's thanks to you that we've gotten this far." Levi looked up from his position on the ground and his gaze hardened, "I will make the choice. Give up that dream and die, lead those new recruits into hell, and I will take down the Beast Titan."

The commander lifted his gaze and looked at his captain gently. "Levi," he said softly, "thank you."

Levi reached up to grasp the back of Erwin's neck and pulled him down until their foreheads knocked together. No words needed to be said, just a moment of silence and the sound of the other's breathing was enough.

And Levi was off, whipping through the air the way he's done countless times before and slashing his sharpened blades through whatever limbs came towards him. His mind was settled on Erwin despite the looming danger over his head; it was like his brain was short circuiting and kept cutting back to one image. Flashbacks played to when they first met, when Levi nearly held a blade to the blond's throat, and when he sat by his hospital bed after losing an arm and berating him for being so _reckless_ before saying "I bet I can beat you in an arm wrestle, old man."

With every fallen titan, Levi thought of every choice he made to stay by Erwin. His stupid blue eyes, deep-ass voice and neat blond undershave was all he could think about, and suddenly he was hitting harder, flying faster, and cutting deeper.

The man let out an agonized battle cry when he took down the last titan before facing the beast angrily. He knew Erwin was going to die. It was inevitable with only one arm; the man could barely steer his horse properly. If anything, Levi had grown suspicious of how long he had survived and began counting his days with him long ago. Still, it didn't make the sharp pain in his chest feel any better, because nothing could prepare you for a loved one's death.

God, he was so whipped for a dying man. But what could he do? He was disgustingly devoted to him.

She couldn't help but look at him with disappointment when his figure was still embedded within the titan. Eren looked so tired, so unwilling to fight a losing war. Yet he was here, in the middle of Marley, fighting the War Hammer Titan for "the sake of humanity".

"Eren," she called out softly. He didn't even flinch at the sound of his name. "Let's go back home, Eren. Please, come home." Mikasa pleaded, but his eyes remained focused on the titan before him.

"Not yet," he finally responded, "it's not over yet, Mikasa." Eren's voice dropped to an octave she had never even heard before.

She sighed internally at the response and pursed her lips together. Of course it wasn't over yet, it never was. Mikasa glanced down at him again and saw his unwavering will to fight. If it weren't for that determination in his eyes that had been there since she met him, she would have never recognized him at a glance.

His long, shaggy hair tickled his jaw and it seemed like his eyes had sunken further into his face, making it look like Eren was more tired and older than he actually was. Mikasa figured years of Titan shifting had that effect on the human body, accompanied by the mental toll that also showed in his expression. His cheeks had hollowed out visibly and his lips had become perpetually downturned.

For a moment, she had seen Eren: the Eren she fell in love with. The one with short, fluffy hair and a boisterous voice that could echo in the longest of hallways. She saw the Eren with bright, lively eyes that could pierce through the coldest of souls and the smile that could make the saddest person forget their troubles for a moment. Mikasa remembered seeing the slight pink in his cheeks when he clumsily wrapped his scarf around her neck ten years ago, and she could almost feel the soft skin of his hand gently wrapping around hers when he took her home.

And then now- he was unrecognizable.

The young Ackerman was acutely aware she couldn't do anything about it. Time was going to go on and in eight years time she was going to lose her best friend, the love of her life. But that wasn't going to stop her from fighting by his side. In fact, she'd spend the rest of her minutes with him if that's all he had left in the world.

And right now, he didn't want to go home yet.

So Mikasa fixed her stare on the opponent. The War Hammer Titan stood menacingly and Mikasa knew what she had to do. With one last glance towards Eren, she leaped off his shoulder and swooped to the top of the nearest building.

What could she do? She was hopelessly devoted to him.

Mikasa trudged around the barracks aimlessly that night. She needed something to do. Without Sasha's snoring or Historia and Ymir gossiping, she could almost hear the screams and the pleads of the comrades she had no choice but to leave to die and the loudness of the silence was driving her absolutely crazy. Mikasa simply couldn't stay there anymore.

So she found herself silently padding into Eren's room, only to see he was sound asleep. Sleep was something he never got anymore; she decided she didn't want to wake or bother him before continuing experiments the next day.

There was only one more person that could be awake at four in the morning. She knocked on his door.

"Come in."

She slipped through the doorframe and wordlessly padded over to the edge of Levi's bed. The older Ackerman was seated at his desk fumbling with an empty tea cup, eyeing her knowingly.

"You're up late, kid."

Mikasa shrugged. "I had to get out of my room."

Levi hummed understandingly, "Sometimes it gets so quiet, it starts getting louder." Mikasa tucked her knees to her chest with her feet resting against the bed frame. Levi noticed her attempt to make herself smaller, yet he said nothing until she was ready to speak up.

And she did, eventually, after she found the sight of her scraped knees to be boring. She looked up with wet eyes and called out to him quietly.

"Levi," It was almost a cry for help. Levi tried, he really tried, to stay rooted in his chair, but the sight of his only remaining family on the verge of tears seemed to strike a chord within him. Plus he always had a soft spot for Mikasa. He sighed dejectedly and went to sit next to her and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. She immediately leaned into the warmth.

"Alright, what's on your mind?"

"I don't know," she croaked, " _everything._ I'm just so _sad_ for some reason and I can't stop it. It's like… everything I do is meaningless."

"Elaborate."

"I mean," she swiped away an unwanted tear, "I fight to protect Eren. It's what I've done for so long, it's all I _know_. But lately… I don't know, it's like he doesn't need me anymore. He has full control over his abilities, now. He can protect himself. I'm still gonna do it, you know, but now it feels… complicated."

Levi was silent and Mikasa cringed to herself.

"I'm not even making sense, am I?"

He chuckled at that. "You are. In fact you're making too much sense, it's scary how similar we are."

"I guess it runs in the family," she scoffed.

"You know, when I joined the survey corps, all I wanted to do was live to see the light of day. Everyday. Until eventually, there was more of a reason than just to stay alive for the sake of survival. I was doing it to stay by Erwin's side."

Mikasa's chest squeezed painfully at the mention of her former commander.

"I didn't even realize how devoted I was to him. I knew he could protect himself- he was more than capable- but there was something I couldn't pull myself away from. It was stupid. I hated it. But I loved it at the same time."

The younger woman felt herself nodding so aggressively at how much she could relate.

"Your need for Eren goes beyond what you think. It's more than just being 'head over heels in love' or whatever sappy bullshit you wanna call it. Have you ever heard of soulmates, Mikasa?"

Her shoulders sunk at the term. "Yeah. Armin told us about it before. Gross, Levi, that's so cheesy."

"I know, and I hate it. But what can you do? Us Ackermans have this gross need to cling to someone. Kenny experienced it, too. It's stupid, but we're just cursed to end up hopelessly devoted to someone else."

Mikasa hummed, and they sat like that for awhile. His arm stayed draped lazily over her shoulder as they thought in silence.

"Levi."

"Hm?"

"Why did you… why did you choose Armin? You loved Erwin, so why let him go when you had the choice to bring him back?"

Levi tensed for a minute.

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss him. I cared about him, which is why I decided to let him die." Mikasa listened intently, "The man was tired, Mikasa, he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even if he was a broad son of a bitch, he had his limits."

She chuckled at that.

"I guess you'll just know when the time is right to let go, huh?"

"Exactly." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "But you shouldn't worry about it so much. You can never be prepared for the death of a loved one, so don't bother trying."

Mikasa frowned, his statement not sitting with her well.

"Now, even if you're my only family left, I have to kick you out now. I need to sleep, brat."

She smiled up at him and stood up to leave. "Levi, thank you. For everything."

He stopped at how familiar the thanks sounded. He swallowed thickly and forced the image of Erwin out of his head.

"You're welcome."

 _A/N: My favorite song from Olivia Newton John and I just had to write it! If you haven't noticed yet, majority of my stories are inspired by music haha. Sorry if my account has been a little inactive lately, I'm working on a multi-chap that should be out soon! You can check out the teaser I released on our (levi-nii-san and I run it) tumblr ackerman-danchou. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, leave me some love in the reviews~_


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